How to Empath with Excellence!

Or… How to build strong ENERGY boundaries – part 2

Okeydokey, by now I’m guessing you’ve read part 1 of this post, and maybe you’re here reading part 2 because you’ve had that lovely feeling of RELIEF and RECOGNITION.

As in: Ohhhhhhh, she’s writing about me. YEP, I’m an empath.

It happens for all us senstive-types when we first learn this stuff, and it can be quite a heady experience.

But hang in there, because we’re just getting started!

Or hey, maybe you knew all that about yourself already. Or almost-knew it, and reading my last post helped clarify things for you.

Or maybe you’re still not convinced?

Not to worry. Another theory of mine is this…

A lot of empaths DON’T EVEN KNOW they’re empaths

They wander around with their heads and hearts full of the feelings of others, believing themselves to be “defective” or “crazy”.

OR they believe the hype. That they’re “too” sensitive.

{ But don’t worry, you’re not “too” anything, ‘kay? }

So what’s it like to be an empath and not know it?

Well, you get all the same symptoms as other empaths but without knowing why!

• We tend to be people pleasers, and feel the need to help people at personal cost to ourselves.
• We’ll quite intentionally put other people’s needs before our own.
• We often experience exhaustion (which can become chronic) and take on a zillion causes.
• Our heart bleeds for the world, intensely so.

But let me point something out here…

It’s exhausting to Empath like this!

I mean, let’s get real folks.

Most of us sensitive types need LESS stimulation, not more. We need to be slower, steadier and calmer.

But instead, we’re easily hyped up, roped in, over-excited and committed to the cause (whoah there!).

All because we’ve either never really noticed how sensitive we are and/or we don’t respect that essential part of our nature.

And an important part of sorting this out is – you guessed it – building and retaining strong energetic boundaries, to go with healthy behavioural boundaries.

So instead of Empath-ing yourself into the ground, why not try another approach?

Empath-ing With Excellence!

1. The first step: Figure It Out

Sometimes you might need help recognising what’s going on for you. Especially if you don’t know any other empaths…

That’s where your friendly neighborhood Kinesiologist comes in handy! 🙂

Most Kinesiologists are highly sensitive people and empaths to boot. Trust me, nothing you tell us will sound too “out there”…

2. Next: Repair the holes in your energy body

AKA your aura.

Awareness of what’s going on is an all-important step, and it can take a while to learn how to consciously connect with your energy.

{ But don’t panic. It will get better. }

Know this…

As an empath, you’re not just a receiver of all the energy out there.

Empaths are usually also exceptional broadcasters. With big, shiny antennaes AND “holes” in our energy boundaries.

Yeah, you’ve got leaks, people!

Leaks that mean you’re not in control of who gets to see the goods.

{Okay, that sounds dirty.}

But “the goods” in this case meaning your beautiful, bright Self that wants to help everyone in the Universe.

Your light. It shines brightly, lovely!

Which means that you end up shining that gorgeous light out into the world without a lot of control about how and when it’s being used and seen.

This can also means you might attract all kinds of people and experiences that are perhaps a little disturbing or unwelcome.

They might even leave you feeling drained or weird or confused.

This possibly happens to you a lot if you’re only just learning what it is to work with your energy body.

So. A good rule of thumb: Assume that until you’ve got mastery over managing your energy body, anyone/everyone you come in contact with may potentially affect you, energetically speaking.

3. You might be kind of attached to those experiences…

That feeling of having your “energy tendrils” run off to mingle with everyone around you? Or having weird experiences with weird people?

Can be kind of enjoyable sometimes… or maybe you think they’re amusing…

If you’re nodding your head here, it could mean you’ve got a bit of vested interest in holding onto this pattern.

Which is kind of like saying to all of those people who latch onto you, that it’s totally okay for them to do that.

But when you think about it, it’s not really okay, is it?

The after-effects of those experiences aren’t always pleasant, right?

So. Part of learning to Empath With Excellence is figuring out how to interact with people in a way that’s healthier for you.

Actually, it’s healthier for everyone around you, too.

Things that help you learn how to manage your energy

• Yoga and meditation classes – go more than once. Go regularly. Develop a home practice (even if it’s only 10 minutes a day)
• Support groups for energy workers – hang with others that know what you’re going through
• Learning from a mentor or teacher – someone whose been where you are right now
• Learning and reading about archangels and/or working with archangel cards (hint: Archangels are EXTRA helpful with this stuff!)

Learning to “roll down the shutters”

One of the best days in my life was when I finally learned how to filter out some of the “noise” I experience as an empath, on a daily basis.

And by noise, I mean filtering out the energy, emotions and thoughts of people I come into contact with.

As an example: I used to feel every single symptom of the people I was working with pretty intensely. And I’d spend 10-20 minutes after a Kinesiology session clearing my own energy. Which is not very efficient, practical or comfortable!

Being able to keep all of that out of my own energy body was a massive relief. Okay, it was EPIC. I was freakin’ overjoyed to finally, finally… get some peace.

For empaths who do service/healing work, this is essential. Otherwise, we burn out at some point, and then we can’t help anyone.

To be honest, I couldn’t do my work as a Kinesiologist if I hadn’t sorted this out.

So, what helps roll down the shutters?

• The same things I mentioned above, but this is just another level of up-skilling!
• Having consultation with an energy worker (e.g. kinesiology, reiki etc) who’s got personal experience with what you’re going through.
• Cutting out your own negative self-talk. Hoo-boy! Empaths are prone to this, and yet it can interfere with the integrity of our energy work.
• Meditation, meditation, meditation. Empaths need the quiet. The calm. It soothes us, but it also helps us hone our ability to notice what is “us” and what is not.
• The affirmation I included in the first post helps a LOT.

Practice, practice, practice

There’s a period of time once you’ve acknowledged you’re an empath, where your sensitivity feels even more out of control and heightened than ever before.

It can be a bit frustrating and upsetting!

But don’t worry, that phase won’t last forever. Keep this in mind.

You’re just getting used to noticing your situation more clearly, is all.

And if you keep up the work of learning to notice and manage your energy, plugging up the leaks and disengaging from behaviours that keep those leaks in place… it WILL get easier.

One day, you’ll notice that what used to be hard work (e.g. staying grounded in a room full of excited people) is well… easy-peasy.

And you’ll think it was a fluke, til it happens again.

Eventually, you’ll notice that it’s only occasionally you feel your energy boundaries going all wonky.

It’ll either be you letting your guard down OR someone you care about a lot and want to help (and so you’ve let your guard down. Get it?!).

But of course when that does come happen, you’ll also have tools to use that’ll sort that out quick-smart.

You’ll be able to restore your boundaries and still help whoever you need to help. But just without draining all of your energy in the process.

And just in case you were wondering… yeah, I still need to check in with myself every day to ensure I’m Excellently Empath-ing. 🙂

It’s just part of the gig of being an empath.

Being Sensitive 101

I’ve created an online program for empaths and highly sensitive people, which will run periodically as a live course. Eventually it will become an entirely self-paced course, too.

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

 

Much love,

Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world. Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children). More about Ambha Amanda | Book a session