On Being Broken Open

On being broken open

The awakening path is that of Being
Broken open; over and again
Until finally the openness sticksĀ 
And I stop retreating, from fear or habit
Towards that opaque contracted-ness
For the comfort of familiarity
I remember how once
At first, I met soaring openness
With fear, distrust, and anger
Desiring NO change, thank you!
Or no real change anyway…
More, a rearranging of the furniture
Than an excavation or dissolution
Or a dropping of the veils
Then, breaking open feels like dying
Being done to me anyway, not because
I chose this Journey
Long ago in time and space
(Only I did, I just forgot!)
Once the Great Breaking Open begins
It relentlessly repeats
Chaos assumes the role of
An unrequited Lover
Never leaving me alone for very long
The message is always the same
Persistant and true
No matter how it’s received
Until all things ineveitably Shift
And Chaos becomes a Silken Sheet
Tenderly cocooning the transformation
Now… Breaking Open is a relief
A Teacher
An Opportunity
A crystal clear broadcast
Of new possibility
Awareness and understanding
I notice the unrelenting nature of consciousness
That I Am
In the variegated display of All That Is
I Am Broken Open
In deep gratitudeĀ 

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Much love,
Ambha Amanda x

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